Integrity?

“Integrity may be seen as the quality of having a sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one’s actions.”

~ Wikipedia

I can’t say it strongly enough, that one of the foundations of happiness is integrity.

But just what is integrity?

Is it being honest? Yes, sort of.
Is it being good? Yes, most of the time.
Is it being spiritual? Yes, in a way.

In fact, integrity is when your values and your actions are the same.

Almost everyone has at least some integrity, and almost nobody has complete integrity. The closer our beliefs and actions are aligned, the more integrity we have – and the happier we are.

It’s worth taking a look at your life and seeing where your actions might not quite live up to your ideals. Look for ways to change your actions so that they are better aligned.

Preference?

Pen or Pencil?

Two ways of doing the same thing. It’s just a matter of preference.

It’s okay to have your own preference, even if others opt for a different choice. But sometimes “peer pressure” gets the better of us. That’s right, peer pressure is not just for teens.

There’s a good reason for peer pressure to exist - a powerful force that keeps people conforming to societal norms so that we can all get along. But when peer pressure makes us feel guilty for making minor preference choices, that’s taking it too far.

Make your preferences and enjoy them.

Enemies?

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.

We are the authors of our own habits. We are the ones who give ourselves permission to indulge our weaknesses. We are the ones who cause others to dislike us. Our laziness leads to problems that could have been avoided if addressed earlier. When somebody “cheats” on their diet, they only cheat themselves.

We can also be our own best friends – by battling the enemy within.

How are you your own best enemy, and what do you plan to do to disable that enemy?

Words...

Words are very powerful tools or very powerful weapons, depending on how you use them. Words have the power to motivate people you care about. To inspire them. To give them just the boost they need. Words can let people know just how much you care or how much you hurt.

The wrong words can turn a friend into an enemy. They can let somebody down. They can cut a rift between you and people you hold dear.

No words are useless. No words are wasted. Every word has an effect.

Think about your words and use them wisely.

What makes you happy?

Illustration by Lehla Eldridge

Isn’t it strange how we spend so much time pursuing things that will never make us happy?

We chase money and fame, and sometimes affections of those who do not care. We can’t wait for the weekend, so we waste our week waiting, and we buy lottery tickets hoping for deliverance
from our sorry lot.

Remember, that week we can’t wait to get past is called “life”.

Stop and think about what really makes you happy.

Now, you know what to do.

What do you want?

What do you want from life?

Yes, it’s a big question, and I know you might not be sure. But you are the expert. There is nobody in the world who knows better what you want out of life than you do.

Perhaps the reason you don’t know is because you never tried – I mean really tried – to figure it out. It may not be so much indecision as procrastination.

Why not take some time to determine what you want?

Life is like a....

Life is like a trampoline. No matter how high you bounce, you will come back down to earth. And the higher you bounce, the lower you will push the mat when you land. But you can always keep jumping; there is no limit to the ups.

And there is some very good news. No matter how low you push the mat, you can always jump higher than you sink.

Life on the trampoline has it’s ups and downs, but the ups are stronger if you want them to be.

Reality in Perspective...

Here’s a really cool trick that will help put everything in perspective.

First, take one foot and plant it firmly on the ground.
Next, take another foot, and plant in firmly on the ground.

There!

Now you have both feet planted firmly on the ground. Try doing this whenever things seem to be getting out of control or whenever you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

It is important at times like this not to let “what might happen” get the better of you. Planting both feet firmly on the ground helps you live the moment rather than fear the future.

Make a move!

Are you waiting for your ship to come in?

What if it doesn’t?

What if the canoe that you are letting fall into disrepair is the only vessel you have?

What if all the ships out there are waiting for canoes to come to them.

Grab a paddle and stroke stroke, stroke. If you see a ship, head for it. If not…what can be better than a peaceful or invigorating paddle through life?

Friends....

“Friends are those who sing the song in your heart,
especially when you've forgotten the lyrics”

I have no idea who quoted this, but I laaik the description.

In life, we all forget the lyrics sometimes. And it sure helps to have someone close enough, someone who cares enough to help us remember the tune.

Don’t worry; the lyric will come back to you...

Optimistic?

I don’t want to hear anyone say they can’t help feeling pessimistic. If you wish to feel pessimistic, that is your choice, but recognize that it is just that – a choice.

The same goes for optimism. At any point we can choose how we view the future. To be sure, we can be swayed by the voices around us, and many people are. But we can be swayed only if we let them. The future has yet to be told, but you can decide now whether you will enjoy it.

Choose optimism and no matter what the future holds, at least today will be great.

Noise...

It fills our lives. Music. Motors. Even the constant drone of refrigerators, computers, the furnace, air conditioners (Just started around here, mind you), the ticking of a clock makes noise.
Then when the TV, stereo, vacuum, car, traffic outside, and so much more are all added in, we go from constant noise to overpowering noise.

Turn it down. Turn it off. Give your ears a break. It gets stressful, and yes, it can even make us cranky. Even the music we love. Even the TV shows we enjoy. The noise works on our moods after a while.

Turn it down. Turn it off!

Absolute Priority...

What is your priority?
Is there a change you want to make? I mean really, really want to make?

If there is a change you are absolutely committed to, there is only one way to make it happen – run everything through the filter:

“Will this further my goal or take me further from my goal?”

For instance, if you have committed to turning a messy house into a neater house, the minute something enters your hand, you must commit to answering the question “If I place this there, will my house be neater or less neat than if it stays in my hand?” Only when you can answer “neater” should you let it go from your hand.

If something really is a priority, make it the priority.

Perspective...

Puddles are baby oceans. Really, there’s not much difference except that the wildlife in one lives longer and is big enough for us to see.

Trees are giant weeds. Just look at one when the leaves have fallen, and you’ll see how similar they look.

And our house is nothing but an overgrown dollhouse.

It’s all a matter of perspective. Try looking at something differently today. It will help your creative juices flow and your tolerance level grow.

Comfort...

We are often challenged to leap out of our comfort zone and try something new, to be bold and daring and reach for our dreams.

But there is also a role for comfort, a role that becomes clear on cold winter days such as we have here in the Ukay. In fact, the more we leap out of our comfort zone to try new, daring things, the more we might need those little comforts like hot soup or a soothing shower to keep us grounded.

Comfort is a wonderful thing, as long as it doesn’t make you feel too…comfortable.

Extinguisher

Sociability tip: always carry a fire extinguisher in your back-pack.

OK, perhaps you don’t need an actual, physical fire extinguisher, but wherever there are people, fires will crop up. I’m talking about misunderstandings between two people who’s mouths and ears somehow missed the connection. Ruffled feathers of people who are a little more sensitive than they need be. Offhand remarks form people who speak first and think later. Let’s face it, we all create fires and we all burn sometimes.

But do we all have a backup plan that we can call on when needed. Perhaps it is the ability to immediately slip into a sympathetic tone to avoid a small fire getting bigger. Perhaps it is an emergency escape plan so that we don’t make others’ fires bigger by putting in our own two cents. Perhaps it is a little alarm bell that screams out in our heads: “Just let it go. Just let it go. Just let it go.”

What’s your fire extinguisher?

Wisdom on Love

Love grows when you pass it on.
So, if you need more love then its time
to pass more love on to others.

As you receive goodness from others,
pass it on.

Snow

It’s cold, wet and white up here in the Ukay.

Did you know that the Inuit have dozens of words for snow? That’s because there are so many types of snow…

Wet, sticky snow that sticks. Fluffy snow that floats light as…as…as…well, as snow. Snow like tiny Styrofoam balls. Snow that was fluffy, but with a touch of melting is getting a little sticky. Light snow that gets packed under more and more light snow. Snow that turns crisp from a hint of freezing rain. You get the idea.

It’s easy to generalize about snow; you won’t hurt its feelings. But people are infinitely more varied, and people do have feelings. Accept me as I am, without generalizing about why “kind” of person I might be. I’ll do the same for you.

Wisdom...

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be.
It’s the way it is. The way you cope
with it is what makes the difference.”
~{Virginia Satir, social worker}~

Well done!

Praise is good, and if you have praised someone today, encouraging them to excel in something they have been trying to do, you are to be praised.

But always make sure your praise is sincere. Make sure you have identified something the person has done well. It might be just one of ten steps in a process, but make sure to identify specifically what they have done well.

False praise for things they have not done well will not help. If they believe it, they will continue doing substandard work instead of trying harder to do better. If they don’t believe it, they will feel uneasy that you are calling attention to something they know was not good enough.

Praise and praise sincerely. You do it for your kids; now do it for others.

Who are Friends?

Who are your friends? In this day and age, people have hundreds of “friends” on MySpace and FaceBook (many of whom we actually have no idea who they are), where we “know” dozens of parents of our kids’ classmates, where we go to conferences and see faces we have met before, where we follow celebrities on blogs and twitter and read their books and feel like we know them.

But who really are your friends?

Your friends are the people you will go out of your way to help. And those who will go out of their way to help you.

Refresh your Friendships...

Friendship is one of those intangibles that cannot be measured and often goes unnoticed. Yet it is one that requires as much nurturing as our own bodies. It is so easy to lose track of friends in our busy world, and the loss of a friend is like a loss of part of ourselves.

If you don’t make time for your friends, how do you expect them to make time for you. How can a friendship remain alive if the very things that created the friendship – the bonding, the interaction, the connectivity – are no longer there.

I was contacted by an old friend a week ago. She invited me to join her forum and in this process I came into contact with loads of old friends that I kinda "misplaced" over the past two years.

Yes, now is the time for each of us to call up an old friend and rekindle lost friendships.

Ideas...

There is a very thin line between life and death. A thin, white line. Or maybe it’s yellow. It runs down the middle of the road. Cross that line and you crash into another car. If the other car crosses the line, it crashes into you.

What’s the only thing keeping both cars from crashing?

Hint – it’s not a line. No line ever stopped a car trying to cross it. No, it’s an idea. The idea that the car should keep on one side of the line. The idea of obeying the rules of the road for everybody’s safety. The idea.

Even for something a simple and basic as steering a vehicle, and idea is a powerful thing. Do you have an idea? Are you willing to ride the idea? If so, you have power.

Wisdom...

Peace is more than the absence of war...
Peace is a world filled with love,
light and joy and it starts with you!

Resolutions?

Have you started your New Years resolutions yet? Yes! And this time I'll keep them! Okay, stay strong and keep on track as the days go by. Never stop using your will-power!

No? Well, it’s never too early and never too late. New Year’s Day is a totally arbitrary day. Feel free to use it if that helps motivate you – a fresh start to a new year. Or the start of summer vacation. Or the return to work or school after summer/winter vacation. Or the day you read an article that really makes you think.

You see, while resolutions for the New Year give us a wonderful sense of positive intent, they are extremely hard to stick with unless we turn them into clear, well-defined goals. Whenever you are moved to action, make the resolution. Make the plan. Take action! Make the changes you need to create the life you want.